Stronger.

4th January 2011.

Today I realized emotions get a tad stronger at night. I get a bit more upset at night when I start to miss you. Ahhhh, wish I could talk to you now. But no.

Hope you're doing good with your little campers.
I like to see you doing the things you do best. That's what God created you for- to impact lives, and transform people.
I like to see that extraordinary capacity and strength you have on the inside of you. You're my diamond in the rough. The person I love and adore the most.

But yet at the same time, it's quite a torture for me. Honeymoon period and you're away from me so often. Grrr! Bittersweet. Can't wait to see you again.

Keeping you dear and close in my prayers, love.

Back.

Hmmm, you're back today.
I was over the moon, really happy to hear from you.
But you sounded like you were in a mad rush. You didn't reply me much. Guess you were rushing against time to go for your camp.

So... being back actually means nothing. Don't feel any bit closer to you at all ):
That initial first sense of happiness didn't last for long. Unfortunately.

Only happy to know that you're back home, safe and sound.
Never mind if we're not going to meet, or talk a lot (?)

And so, you're off for your camp till Friday tonight. Looks like I'm going to sleep tonight like how I did yesterday again. Just another day.

Action

Faith without works is DEAD.

Today, I talked to and found a new sense of assurance from dear God.
Thank You Jesus for the peace.
Thank You Jesus for the joy.
Thank You Jesus for being omnipresent.

Newfound love.

Today, your absence made me a little sick. Really not used to not having you around to make me laugh like you always do.
But it only served as a reminder to me that you might not be around, but your love remains the same old one.

I want to be your better girlfriend, your better best friend, your 24/7 intercessor, your constant cheerleader, you pillar of support, your soul mate and the utmost love of your life.
I like watching you smile from the inside of yourself. It means a whole lot to me.

As your school term is about to start, I pray with all of my heart that you'll perform well enough, handle your roles way above the standard expected of you, cope properly with the stress and tight schedule and be happy. You're made for great things, love. I know and I always know- Just have that silence assurance from God that He has created you for a big future.

Thank you for always being so dear to me.
Year 2012 will be a magical year, because I have you alongside me.

SCMS 2011

I did my first marathon today.
With my love, and my Pokenoobs :)

All the stories I've heard about how fragile life is,
all the time I hear about the darker side of humanity,
and how I cringe every single time I hear of all the unfortunate yet fated incidents.

It only made me learn how to appreciate the little things in life to a greater extent.
I'm beginning to find happiness an easier and simpler thing to accomplish.
Really, happiness can be so simple.
Only if you learn how to be grateful for every little thing.

We're all living because of the grace of God.
We ought to forgive freely just as Jesus would.

Sometimes you have to be your own hero

It's hard to wait around for something you know that might never happen.
But it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you ever wanted.

"Where there is love, there is life."
Tonight, I so doubt the existence of unconditional love. Or Agape, if you would like it to be called.

Perhaps, I'll never be able to take words as they are again.
Maybe, not a matter of ability. Just my wayward tendency to over-think.
Bad bad.

But yet again, it's my way of protecting myself.
Nobody will ever be able to truly understand what I went through. And I guess I won't ever want anyone to understand because it hurts so much.
I'm drained, from the inside out.

I pray with all of my heart, that 2012 will be a much better year.